A Better Way To Recover From A Broken Heart.

Feeling emotionally bruised from a breakup? You may not want to "get over it" too quickly. Let your split linger:People who reflect on their breakups are more likely to heal their heartache than those who don’t face their feelings, finds a recent University of Arizona study. In the study, participants who frequently answered questions about their breakup showed greater recovery than those who were only prodded briefly at the beginning and end of the experiment. “When relationships end, we often suffer a big change in our fundamental sense of self,” says study author, David Sbarra, Ph.D. But the more you start to regularly think about who you really are and what you want in life—apart from that relationship—the more you regain the clarity you need to cope well, Sbarra says. Need help teasing that out? “People—and men especially—benefit by talking about their experiences and reflecting honestly about what’s happening,” says Sbarra. So stop the silent sulk and strike up a conversation with a trusted buddy instead. Try to hit on when you first realized your relationship was sinking, what you remember about the separation itself, and how the breakup has affected how you feel about relationships in general. If you’re not quite ready to pour your heart out to a pal, you can use these prompts to mull it over in your own head. It typically takes about 2 to 3 months to recover from a bad breakup with your girlfriend, says Sbarra. You’re ready to move on when you’re able to confidently describe yourself and your future goals without your ex popping up in your analysis. Once you’ve shut that door, make the most of your newfound free time by reconnecting with your family or friends—or even challenge yourself by joining a new club or group. Constructing a strong inner circle will help you gain the confidence you need to meet someone new. By Danielle Austin,February 12, 2015